Never doesn't even begin to describe my misunderstanding

Occasionally with moments of reflection I am still at a loss. This path gives time for lots of thinking.

What will become of the truth when we keep it in

That moment when you let go, when you release what has happened. You realize the past is the past and it is dead. It's freeing look back and use what you need to and move on. That moment when you understand that it was never meant to work. Never meant to be. No need to dwell and wonder. Push forward and remember who you are. Always hold onto that, evolve and proceed and keep your core, your values, your you. This is me, and this is me moving forward.

Once upon a time sleep welcomed me

I knew at that moment that I sincerely missed time with you. In the small mountain town listening to an up and coming indie band I wished for nothing more than to be sharing a winter ale with you. The crisp mountain air, a slight taste of wood burning stoves. An open sky with every star begging for something more. In my mind... You understood. Yet I could not help but insist the moon or the stars could fill this void, to replace my love with lunar amity. The waking seconds henceforth could not explain why I continue to think about it. Clouds below the sky, islands in the superior lakes, immortal and infinite and always stuck on you. I once was open, I once loved, I once lost, and now I am... As if writing would be the cure to vanquish these thoughts, I continue to digress, shamelessly releasing feelings I'm much too late on expressing. Alas they are felt and this paper shall shed no tears.

I've been through the rockies...

Racing through connections, reflecting off the beautiful eastern lakes and talented sunrises/sets and through out it all I cannot understand why it's always your playlist that I enjoy the most during these moments. The songs you suggested would be cute to listen to and finally reaching their true beauty at 10000 feet. Sending smiles through my gaze as strangers curiously wonder. I truly would love to share more and hope at some point we will be able to.

Why can't I feel anything from anyone other than you.

It's so hard to describe how it feels but when it happens you somehow knew this was what it was going to come to. Yet no amount of foreshadowing or preparation makes you feel less. Feeling as if you should pass the blame, constantly dissecting everything you may of done or somehow didn't do. The discussions that you thought would work themselves out continue to stack up until someone decides it is just not worth it. There are no mistakes, just lessons. However much the lessons hurt just hope that the next time you figure it out. When you discover the person that you are willing to sacrifice everything for, make sure she is willing to sacrifice for you.

Knowledge breeds desire...

When every aspect seems perfect sometimes it just is so much more easy to run away. Despite how it all developed it was so close. Closer than ever. Yet in the end we pushed away. Fighting fate or whatever other term could represent an outside force bringing it together. Bringing us together. And when the comforts fell and the end came, we somehow decided we could just be. My brain is riddled and plagued with confusion and I no longer feel that opening up will be beneficial to anyone. This was it. Growing starts here. I thought I knew who I was and what I wanted. I no longer feel I know anything. This was it. It's just not my thing... North of anywhere I want to be...

And spring turns to summer...

It's difficult to perceive how different people react to different things, what may not bother one may mean the world to the other. Actions and Reactions shape the world and build and destroy. If only it was easier to react appropriately for every situation. If every reaction was perfect would the world be an easier place to be in? Or would it just be a bland environment with little emotion? Emotions themselves are difficult, there is no easy way to comprehend how someone is feeling nor do most people express themselves well. I myself have huge difficulties in expressing everything that is on my mind. When I do express I tend to be nervous of the reactions to what I say. learning to express...

Kamehameha III

Kona, Hawaii. Such a beautiful place to be. Sitting on my patio listening to the first Jack's Mannequin album, thinking on how well it goes with the ocean atmosphere. Life is good. Today is a day of relaxing after a 15 hour day yesterday with many hikes up waterfalls and to volcanoes it is a good day to just watch the storm creep in from Hilo. It's amazing on how such a small island can have such diverse climates depending on weather you are east or west, south to north. No idea what to write. Being near a lava spill into the ocean, hearing the waves crash against the island edge and seeing the stars light up like never before. Such a great moment. Always push on even when others turn back. You never know what you might discover about yourself and where you are headed.

High tides and further spirits.

It's hard to learn until you lose. Regardless of what it is, sports, life, love. To realize that you cannot go back. That person is never coming around. The sun has set and the past is settled. Regrets can kill. In this over connected digital world does anyone still want privacy? The new mechanisms for raising children, the death of somewhere, the birth of someone. Making everything public to anyone at anytime. It's a wonder that anyone maintains some sort of sanity. Where are minds were once filled with clandestine thoughts now we are programmed to be concerned with people who would of normally fallen out of our lives. At what point do you release your grip and let go of this struggling world. Releasing the digital world and starting back in the analog glory days.

step 1. Remove all networking devices from phone.

Step 2. Realize the irony of keeping a blog