Why can't I feel anything from anyone other than you.

It's so hard to describe how it feels but when it happens you somehow knew this was what it was going to come to. Yet no amount of foreshadowing or preparation makes you feel less. Feeling as if you should pass the blame, constantly dissecting everything you may of done or somehow didn't do. The discussions that you thought would work themselves out continue to stack up until someone decides it is just not worth it. There are no mistakes, just lessons. However much the lessons hurt just hope that the next time you figure it out. When you discover the person that you are willing to sacrifice everything for, make sure she is willing to sacrifice for you.

Knowledge breeds desire...

When every aspect seems perfect sometimes it just is so much more easy to run away. Despite how it all developed it was so close. Closer than ever. Yet in the end we pushed away. Fighting fate or whatever other term could represent an outside force bringing it together. Bringing us together. And when the comforts fell and the end came, we somehow decided we could just be. My brain is riddled and plagued with confusion and I no longer feel that opening up will be beneficial to anyone. This was it. Growing starts here. I thought I knew who I was and what I wanted. I no longer feel I know anything. This was it. It's just not my thing... North of anywhere I want to be...

And spring turns to summer...

It's difficult to perceive how different people react to different things, what may not bother one may mean the world to the other. Actions and Reactions shape the world and build and destroy. If only it was easier to react appropriately for every situation. If every reaction was perfect would the world be an easier place to be in? Or would it just be a bland environment with little emotion? Emotions themselves are difficult, there is no easy way to comprehend how someone is feeling nor do most people express themselves well. I myself have huge difficulties in expressing everything that is on my mind. When I do express I tend to be nervous of the reactions to what I say. learning to express...

Kamehameha III

Kona, Hawaii. Such a beautiful place to be. Sitting on my patio listening to the first Jack's Mannequin album, thinking on how well it goes with the ocean atmosphere. Life is good. Today is a day of relaxing after a 15 hour day yesterday with many hikes up waterfalls and to volcanoes it is a good day to just watch the storm creep in from Hilo. It's amazing on how such a small island can have such diverse climates depending on weather you are east or west, south to north. No idea what to write. Being near a lava spill into the ocean, hearing the waves crash against the island edge and seeing the stars light up like never before. Such a great moment. Always push on even when others turn back. You never know what you might discover about yourself and where you are headed.

High tides and further spirits.

It's hard to learn until you lose. Regardless of what it is, sports, life, love. To realize that you cannot go back. That person is never coming around. The sun has set and the past is settled. Regrets can kill. In this over connected digital world does anyone still want privacy? The new mechanisms for raising children, the death of somewhere, the birth of someone. Making everything public to anyone at anytime. It's a wonder that anyone maintains some sort of sanity. Where are minds were once filled with clandestine thoughts now we are programmed to be concerned with people who would of normally fallen out of our lives. At what point do you release your grip and let go of this struggling world. Releasing the digital world and starting back in the analog glory days.

step 1. Remove all networking devices from phone.

Step 2. Realize the irony of keeping a blog

Montego Bay

So I probably should be writing more considering I have been in school for the last 7 weeks however I just did not have the writing vibes. Only 5 more days in Grande Prairie then I am on the road to Edmonton, Calgary, Saskatoon, Montego Bay, Fox Creek, Kelowna and Revelstoke only to end up back in Grande Prairie for Jan 3rd. One more session of school up in Grande Prairie, then good bye. Ideally its back to Kelowna and working up north in ft mac. Oh and maybe a little Hawaii trip with my family in March too. Jumping back to present tense for a second though. I have been trying to gain weight, eating more than I usually do and its not easy. New supplements as well have turned my night life into hell. Apparently my body needs to adjust to the amount of creatine in it? Not that my night life has been exciting before, nor will it be exciting if I figure out what is causing this. In any case in the time I have written my last blog I have attempted to date and failed miserably, Its just not easy living up here. Maybe one day I will be able to get out there and have a normal lifestyle. Experience the 51% of females I can assume make up part of the 7 billion people we have on this earth. For now though, I am just as comfortable alone as I have ever been. Its how it is and always has been. Of course when I say alone I mean a sufficient amount of friends to get by with. They keep me level and always let me know there is love out there coming my way. Despite my lack of being able to express myself it is always appreciate.



Anyways I need to go understand electricity...

In Death and Life

If you value life never waste time, for time is what life is made up of. I read this the other day and could not agree more. So many things in this world I take for granted when in reality I should just appreciate them more. The human body is the greatest thing to appreciate, without it you would be lost but with it you can become all powerful. Yet some people still believe that filling it fill of toxins and not keeping it in top shape is the best way to live their life. What benefit is there to ruining the only body you will ever have. I guarantee that anyone who purchases a fancy sports car goes out of their way to give it he proper maintenance and fuel it requires. Why then, does the body that you are given, not get the same attention? Afterall it was your body that allowed you to work enough to get this sports car. It was your body that allows you to get to the fast food place and eat junk food. Without it you would be nothing, with it your potential is unlimited.

Think about it

This is northern electrician worker 1452 signing out