Find something that reminds you eternity exists. Embrace the mountains, the oceans, the earth, the trees. Regardless of what you do, these things will continue to go on. When one begins to realize that they are not able to destroy the world overnight, by making a small decision, it is quite freeing. In savasana tonight I became completely out of body, It was quite weird considering I haven't done any form of yoga in well over a month. To just relax and unwind and remove myself was refreshing. Nothing really mattered. And then to return is almost overwhelming, coming back to all that matters. I was once told that what is the point of stress, depression or any emotion that does not benefit you in some way. Some may argue that negetive emotions will motivate you to get rid of whats causing them. If you can't change it overnight, there is no point tying up your emotions with it. I'm not concerning my life with it... Long term everything will be effected... If you can only hold one thing in your mind at a time, make sure it benefits you...

Some dance to forget

Once the realization is made that you will get nothing handed to you in this world you begin to think that everyone is out to get you. The world that we dwell in, is nothing but a game or sport of everyone trying to succeed and be the best possible in whatever it is they do. However you come across people who just don't seem to care, why is this? How can someone not find pride in whatever they are doing. A moment of euphoria occurs, perhaps what they are doing for work is not what they take pride in. Perhaps there is some other hobby or activity that they do that they will do the best in, but it is not how they make their money or define themselves quite yet. Is it luck that someone discovers their passion and realizes how they can make money? Or is it that some people are just not looking?

Such is life

I'm out of words currently, perhaps at a later date I will be able to blog properly... anyways, futureshop is keeping me on and moving me to Home Theater, Its still effing cold, and I am still roommateless until the 2nd... Missing Calzone and Brendalin

Alright so, christmas isn't so bad, its been a day filled with phone calls from family and friends, finding out that apparently I have more packages at the post office that is closed till the 27th...

These lonely days are only chased by lonelier nights, but lonely is only a mindset when you can realize that this is time to respect. Alone time should be cherished like any other moment, eventually there will be no such thing. One will have to share the moments in their life with someone who makes it better. Who makes every waking second that much better, however until that point one must become comfortable with being alone...

Ironically enough there is an overwhelming calm when you are by yourself on a night devoted to being with your family. Sure it would be nice being at home, however, this cannot happen so instead I am reading and listening to rap music... The christmas tunes are gone now and I am now being soothed by Dr. Dre, The Game, and some Slim Shady. Why is it that someone rapping about how lyrically successful they are and how badass their "whip" is just brings peace to my heart. I cannot express how much I can appreciate a good lyric strung together though.

some of my favorites of all time are,


"You make breaking hearts look so easy, seems like you've done this before"
Breaking - Anberlin

"Calling tears from deep inside, oh your so exquisite"
This Celluloid Dream - AFI

"Even though she doesn't believe in love, he is determined to call her bluff"
Remembering Sunday - All Time Low

"And all these stupid silly songs, keep trying to find your ears"
The Minstrel's Prayer - Cartel

"If you really loved me, you were too honest to show me, this might be the only way, that I can feel again"
Love In the Attic - Cauterize

"How I wish you could see the potential, potential of you and me, its like a book elegently bound, but in a language you can't read, just yet"
I will Possess your Heart - Death Cab for Cutie

"I lost something thats dime a dozen, she lost something thats one of a kind"
Echoes (remix) - Gorilla Zoe

"I always knew you would be the one to understand me, I guess thats why it took so long to get things right"
Be Calm - Fun.

"I swear when I grow up, I won't just buy you a rose, I will buy the flower shop and you will never be lonely"
The Gambler - Fun.

"She tells me I'm not capable of what they accuse me, with no remorse I stand and say that guilt is what I plead"
With Twilight as my Guide - The Mars Volta

anyways, that is all for now, Merry Christmas everyone...

As the holiday that I am not looking forward to comes closer and closer I am beginning to realize that maybe this is for the best. That maybe one christmas on my own will make me more thankful for everyone and everything in my life. Tomorrow will be a stupid day at work with all the last minute shoppers getting more and more obnoxious. I just can't comprehend on how some people get through in this world with the attitudes that they use on other people. It is beyond me on how society seems to be taking away Darwins law and making it so the stupid people are the ones that somehow succeed and reproduce.


Pro Darwinism

I can feel your breathe on me...

So this is probably the last time this person will be referenced in this blog, finally everything has come to an end. As much as it pains me to think this it is just easier to not fuel the flame. The best of times were had and now nothing will ever happen, instead of me writing I am just going to quote a song...

"Complete and total adoration,
My gift to you, my heart was yours.
In ten weeks you shaped it,
In one night you murdered it.
Torn from my chest and laid at your feet,
That first step you took was the worst.
Since then you've walked a thousand miles in silence and short remark,
I still have these memories,
But we'll never see what we could have been.
Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?
Remember, cause that's all you can do.
We'll never make another memory,
We'll never make another memory.
I wish I'd have died in your arms the last time we were together,
So I wouldn't have to wake without you today.
This time I thought things were real.
You said they were, what happened?
You were a priority, was I an option?
I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone.
Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled.
you knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,
I'm sorry that wasn't enough.
So, we'll go our own ways,
And hopefully you'll remember the things I've told you,
Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said was in sincerity.
A broken heart is not what I wanted from this,
But I guess I've learned from it.
But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes?
I don't consider this a mistake,
I just wish the story didn't end this way,
Cause I'm still in love with the person who helped me write it.
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?
Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?"